Summer snacks

The idleness of lazy summer afternoons always resulted in some or the other form of expression - either creative outlets in crayons and watercolours, or playing with light and air, sometimes the usual sibling fights, and many a time, some innovative snacks.

Our old refrigerator, which is amazingly still functional, used to get a big layer of ice frosting all around the inner walls of the freezer. Every few weeks or so, the fridge would have to be switched off and cleaned after all the ice melted. But my brother and I found a way to have some fun; as a side effect of which our mother's job of defrosting the fridge became much easier and less frequent.

We would scrape the ice with the sharp edge of steel bowls (katori) and add a splash of a summer drink concentrate to it, Roohafza and Rasna being our favourites. And there you go, a refreshing icy snack perfect for summer afternoons. This was probably our first taste of the ice-gola that we weren't allowed to eat outside because of questionable hygiene. The stale old freezer frosting is much better!

We also made a couple of other inventions, like Bikaneri bhujiya with ketchup - a spicy attack on the taste buds, but equally enjoyable and unhealthy! Occasionally, when we had some more patience, we would make a "biscuit cake", by layering the ubiquitous Parle-G biscuits with a mixture of cocoa powder or drinking chocolate, sugar and milk. We would have to wait for a few hours to chill and solidify it in the fridge, but this yummy treat was totally worth it!

I can draw a tree!

One of the reasons I like using crayons so much is that I have always found watercolours to be quite intimidating. I was talking to a friend the other day about how people just assume that since you went to design school, you would already be an expert at drawing or painting. The only drawing I was taught in design school was fashion figures. The rest is all upto the individual to figure out.

Anyway, I was in the middle of cleaning and organising when I found this watercolour painting of a tree that I made a while back and thought I'd share it. Every time I look at it I am amazed that it was me who made it! I found a Youtube channel - Watercolor by Shibasaki and I cannot recommend it enough to anyone who is scared to pick up a brush and paints. He makes it so simple and easy to draw - this tutorial video is just five minutes long, and that's just about how long it takes to make this.

And of course, I had to try it again in my crayons. I have to say, I had equal amounts of fun doing both!

Millennial Pink Guavas

Pinterest has been obsessed with watermelon prints lately, but aren't guavas the real millennial pink fruit?

Pun-ish

I drew a few of these back in college and while having the urge to play around with poster colours recently, I decided to draw these again, properly. Hope they make you smile.

All that I need

Every time you step out of your house, you will realise this. The fact that you can read this on a phone means two things - you could afford an education and you can afford a smartphone. And you have the time to idly browse on the internet. I am reminded of my privilege every single day when I see how hard people have to work to earn a day's wage. And here I am, sitting comfortably without having earned a single rupee in almost two years.

And while my body may have this deadly disease, I have the means to deal with it. There are countless who aren't as nearly as fortunate. Every day, I am thankful for having all that I need, thankful that I can save some of it and share some of it.

Rainbows

The evening before my surgery, as I sat at the foot of my bed, looking outside the hospital window - the gloomy, rainy weather reflected my state of mind. I was still depressed about having to get my ovaries removed, still not convinced about it. I wasn't even ready to sit on the correct side of the bed because I didn't want to see myself as a patient, so I casually sat at the other end from where I could look outside. My surgery was scheduled for next morning. It had all happened in the span of five days, from my scan to the result and then the decision to have the surgery. It had to be done immediately and I had no time to process it, no time to come to terms with it, no time to even look for an alternative.

So there I sat, trying to be "accept my fate" and then I noticed a rainbow. The rain had stopped, the sky was clearing up and there it was, a beautiful rainbow cutting across the greyness. I hadn't asked for any signs, but that was just the sign I needed. I instantly felt better and I smiled to Ady, "see, there's a rainbow!". At that moment I just felt that everything is going to be alright and that I am taken care of.

Sometimes we just need something bigger than all of us, just to make us feel better; and the rainbow was that sign from that something bigger, for me.

Sunshine

The source of all life, energy and warmth - I am thankful for a beautiful clear sky with the bright sun shining down on me. Sometimes when I sit outside to get some much needed Vitamin D for my bones, I can just imagine all that warm energy seeping deep into my bones and making me stronger from the core. I can imagine it getting rid of dark stagnation and giving a new and vibrant life to the room.

Sunshine is an instant mood lifter, especially during the unending grey, cloudy, gloomy days of monsoon. As Ady jokes that I am solar powered, I can definitely see some truth in it! :)

Rain

Every time it rains in Bangalore, my first thought is, "ah, the lakes are filling up". I have never been a big fan of rains, especially when I have to be outside. Since I don't get out of the house much these days, I don't get to see the problems that come with that. Although bad traffic jams and potholes are more of a city planning issue, so we can't really blame the rain for that.

On the positive side, I just love how trees and plants become so clean and bright and they even look happy in the monsoons. Even buildings and roads look sharp and shiny when the dirt is washed off. I love how lights from vehicles reflect on a shiny road when it rains and how much more cosy it feels to be indoors!

And every time it rains, I can just imagine the water table filling up just a little more, helping the environmental crisis just a tiny bit.

Walking

I have been limping for the past eight months and a few days back, I was finally able to walk straight for a few minutes.

I have been a fast walker all my life; never had any patience to walk at a relaxed pace. In college, sometimes I would run from one class to another simply because I felt like. People would think I was always getting late, but I was just having fun running around the corridors and jumping off the stairs.

And here I was, with a diseased bone, limping slowly, and ever slower after my surgery. The day after my surgery I used a walker and slowly counted my steps - one, two, three... ... ...eight! Eight steps before I sat down to rest for the day. It felt like such a gift to be able to walk!

It has taken quite a bit of exercise to develop strength on my leg, but more than that, a whole lot of patience to get to this point. I have been dreaming of the time I will be able to walk properly, without pain, and hopefully soon I will. So I am thankful for this gift - something I never thought I would miss - of being able to walk.

Friends like these

The reunion finally happened and I would like to think that my illness served as a catalyst. The procrastination ended and they flew from all across the country and even outside, to spend a weekend together. The six of us, in the same room after nine years! Here's a bad caricature I made to remember the day.

Whether it is friends in Bangalore, or outside, I have been able to always count on them to be there through tough and happy times. I guess I'm blessed in this area too - to have so many dear friends in my life - these are just five of my many precious gems.

Newspaper elevation

If you ever feel like killing yourself out of frustration, try talking to my brother while he's reading the Sunday paper. For an hour or so, you cannot get his attention no matter what. He would recline on the bed, Vishnu style, and disappear into the newspaper, and if you are lucky, you might get a rare monosyllabic response from him.

But did I ever tell you that he is the most patient person I have ever known? I mean, he taught me Maths and Physics, so that really is the biggest test of patience anyone can give.

Anyway, when we were growing up, we used to get newspapers rolled up and tied with a black rubber band, thrown up four storeys by the superhuman expertise of the newspaper men. Once in a while, they would miss and the paper would land up in the downstairs neighbour's house. No big deal, if the neighbour is actually there. But our neighbours were out of town for almost the entire year, so we had to get creative.

We would tie a hanger at the end of a long rope and lower it into the downstairs balcony and then try to hook the rubber band with it. It would require some Zen-like concentration, and my brother has no shortage of that. Also, he really had to read the Sunday paper, so he was always up for the challenge.

Long, quiet minutes in the sun would pass as we would try to grasp the rubber band; and once done, slowly and carefully try to pull it up without dropping it. Once the newspaper was within arm's reach, the feeling of triumph was just so rewarding!

But the real challenge was when my brother "accidentally" threw my hairband downstairs and had to bring it back up. He created a weird contraption with a hanger, a clothespin and some rubber bands to act as a spring system. The Zen master of perseverance used some physics this time and caught the hairband in the clothespin contraption, once again proving himself to be the king of patience!

Mangoes!

I can't imagine any other fruit being called the king of fruits. Ok, I'm partial to it because it is my favourite, but seriously, who can resist this luscious, juicy piece of heaven? And then there are so many varieties, Safeda (known as Benganpalli here in Bangalore) that is best eaten cut in cubes, Langda and Chausa which are oh so fragrant, Alphonso, Zarda, Mallika - even the names sound so inviting!

Anyway, as I savour the last batch of mangoes of this season, I don't mind the little extra layer of fat I have added on my belly over the summer. Totally worth it!

Food

We've all been taught growing up not to waste food, for there are so many who don't have enough. And while wasting food does make me feel extremely uncomfortable and guilty, I have also learnt to appreciate what I have. I had gotten into the bad habit of eating my meals in front of the TV, especially after spending so much time at home with nothing to do. But since the past couple of months or so, I have stopped doing that. No TV, no phones, no screens while eating. Even if I am eating something that I don't like I sit quietly at the table and savour every bite. Food is what nourishes the body ( and sometimes the soul when it comes to desserts :) ) and it should get the respect it deserves.

Try doing that - try tasting every bite thoroughly, chewing it completely, feel the texture and then imagine it giving energy and nourishment to your body. Trust me, it will feel better than quickly gulping down a meal with eyes glues to your screen.

Wide awake

When you're an overthinker, your mind starts going full speed as soon as your body is at rest. And it's not worry or anxiety usually, but most of the time it is ideas and plans and lists of things I want to do - that makes me wide awake as soon as my head hits the pillow.

This is me - every night.

Medical science

For all its limitations, I still have to admit that I am alive because of modern medicine. It may not be holistic and it may do some harm while doing good, but when it comes to saving lives, nothing works faster than modern medicine. From 2015 till now, I have been through four surgeries, many cycles of chemotherapy and radiation, taken countless injections and pills and here I am, still living and breathing, four years after a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis.

Sure, things like Big Pharma and the fact that many natural medicines are kept restricted and out of reach of people do bother me. A lot. But without the amazing technological advancement and extreme precision of medical science, I can't imagine if I would have lasted this long. I do hope that the diagnostic ability of modern science and the benefits of holistic modes of treatment come together, but I need to stay alive till I find that perfection.

So for now, I'll just focus on the healing part of it and continue to live. Happily.

Family

What can I say, I feel extremely fortunate to have so much love in my life. I don't know if it is age, or going through some tough times together, but as time passes, I feel closer to the closest people in my life. They say you can choose you friends but not your family. If I were given a choice, I would choose the same set of people any day.

Some bad caricatures to express that, but everyday I feel so thankful for the presence of these amazing people in my life. 

Today I am thankful for

As I was lying in my hospital bed recovering from my two surgeries, I had nothing to do but think while going in and out of sleep. My mind obviously drifted towards what I want to draw next, along with feeling thankful for being alive and fine. It’s funny how sometimes being in a horrible situation can eventually make you see the light, once the dust settles down.

So I thought of a little project - to think of things I am thankful for and draw them. I don't care if I can draw everyday or once a week, or whether I can come up with five things, or ten, or fifty before getting bored and abandoning the project.

I had been pressurising myself for drawing everyday, setting targets and deadlines - and this just ended up adding to my mental agony instead of making me happy. In this process of healing, I'm just going to draw what I feel like, when I feel like and not worry about making it pretty or perfect, not worry about where it goes. So here it goes.

New books!

There is something about the smell of new books and stationery that takes me right back to school days. I can boldly say that not many other smells compare to it. Our school used to reopen for the new session during the first or second week of April, the days leading to it were quite exciting. New books and notebooks, so neat and pristine, waiting to be dog eared over the course of the year. I would also get some of my brother's old books and I was quite lucky because he was so neat that his books looked like they had hardly been used.

We had to cover our books and notebooks with brown paper sheets, topped with another layer of clear plastic sheets. We would gather scissors and tapes, clear the space on the dining table and get started with an assembly line of sorts. When we were younger, our parents helped us with putting covers on the notebooks. I could never match up to how neat my dad's method was. I still am quite a lousy gift wrapper, a skill I still haven't inherited from him.

Sometimes we put sticker labels on the notebooks. There were all sorts of stickers available, colourful ones, decorated with cartoon characters or flowers, but I preferred plain ones, or even writing my name directly on the brown paper.

Of course, I loved this entire process, for the excitement of new books, the thrill of writing my name along with the name of a new class and yes, savouring the smells of fresh paper and stationery! 

Practice practice practice!

I've been at a loss of inspiration lately, not being able to gather enough motivation to work on any new ideas, if and when they come. So I decided to just open Pinterest and draw what I felt like. And add a bit of watercolour to it. It was easy, because I used this old sketchbook with thin, copier type paper. Good quality paper means higher expectations and I'm sure you can relate to the experience of creating amazing doodles at the back of notebooks but really bad drawings on pristine cartridge sheets.

So anyway, as my old sketchbook is running out of pages (finally!), I can also see a tiny bit increase in confidence in my drawings. But too bad, they all have watercolour wrinkles. I guess I'll switch to slightly better paper soon.

Bubbles in the balcony

Kids have a fascination with bubbles, and I've seen that with my little niece, who becomes an even more bouncy version of herself when she sees bubbles. I still love bubbles and once in a while end up buying those small bubble kits from street vendors. And I blow bubbles and stare at them till I realise my fingers are all sticky and my feet are wet.

As kids, we didn't have the patience to go and buy bubble kits, so we made them at home. The timing of our bubble play would coincide with my mother's stitching projects. As soon as a thread reel would get over, it would become a bubble blower. Laundry detergent mixed with water in a little steel bowl from the kitchen - that's all we needed for an afternoon of lazy fun.

Sometimes we blew air into the bowl till multiple bubbles would overflow all over, and the bubble-y sound was a bonus. I'm sure you've done that with the last bit of some milkshake and a straw.

The bubbles from laundry detergent were not as great as those you get in a bubble kit, but it was good enough to keep us occupied as we watched them slowly drift down three floors. Shaking and wobbling, sometimes touching a wall and bursting quietly, sometimes reaching all the way to the ground, it was quite amusing to watch those bubbles shining in the afternoon light.